Chapter 1

             As Forrest Gump always said,"Life is like a box of Chocolates,you never know which one your gonna get,".Yeah Right.To me,the phrase would be "Life is like box of TNTs and Dynamite,you never know who's gonna ignite it,".Ok,that sounds a little stupid,but for my life,it makes more sense than anything that retarded "Forrest Gump" would ever say.But life is full of things that will offend you,and things that will really make you mad,but I'm uncontrollable,it's a habbit!I can't hold my anger,and when I get mad enough,I EXPLODE!*BOOM!*!I exploded.ok,I'm back up and writing again.Ok,now seriously,life for me is like any average villain,getting beaten by some type of hero,in my case heroes,and the villian always loses.But hey!I try!Look at me!I'm out numbered!Sure,I've got got Jerry and Bad Bird,and a bunch of weak ninja crows,but those darned cats have Francine(she never fights though),the Rescue Team,Big Al Dente,and some other people I don't really pay attention to.What have I got?Bad Bird,Jerry,and the Rude Noize.the Rude Noize is only four guys,Ronny Guiseborn,Mojo Rojo,Cannonball Battlay,and Bad Max.I'm outnumbered!And I can't stand those cats!I even send out huge robots,piloted by Bad Bird,and STILL those cats find some way to win.Like that cheap Catatonic,or however you spell it!DARN CATS!........*BOOM!*.I exploded.I got so mad at those cats.Ok,enough of the "bull crap of life.Let's look at the "Joys" of my life.Although there isn't too many of them,I have had good times in my life,like that family reunion at Manhattan,like the time when Jerry gave me a present(which kinda pissed me off because it was actually a present given TOO Jerry),but he was generious nonetheless.There was that one time where I made guys girls and girls guys.Ok,I'm not GAY or anything,like Jerry sometimes calls me backstage before the SPC episodes start.Man,that makes me mad!..............*BOOM!*.I'm sorry,I exploded again.I can't controll that,it's just a habbit.Ok,the makeup thing is written by the authors,in real life,I would NEVER wanna cross-dress OR wear makeup,all of that is written by SPC writers who think I'm gay(Personnaly I think Guido should have been the gay character in SPC,either him or BatCat,who I never really pay much attention too).Ok,now for the last part of this chapter,the "Life's Experiences" part.I have experienced so much,I'm suprised I haven't learned anything from it(At least that's what JERRY says).In fact,I HAVE learned from my experiences.I learned that Christmas wasn't in Japan,so the "Cheese Who Stole Christmas" bit would not have worked if it wasn't written.I have also learned to come up with something more tricky than to meet up with a convention and do the same old plans,thinking that it will work with new people around,I learned never to get into a fight with more than one country's band of Pizza Cats(I learned this one with The New York Pizza Cats Vs. The Little Tokyo Pizza Cats).Well,I also learned not to change sexes around(I mean,you can only do this with medical operations,but who'd wanna do that,anyway?)and I also learned not to use Television as a source of Fan Strike(meaning getting fans),and I learned NEVER to use traditions outside my country for one of my schemes,so I won't get beat up by another race's Pizza Cats(this NEVER happened in SPC,just in fanfics and one episode of KNT.)Well,that's the end of this Chapter of:Big Cheese:A Word of Honor But a Rat With None

                                           Go On To Chapter 2